Self-Date Ideas

Yesterday I shared with you some of the delicious side-effects of dating yourself. One of the most common responses I get to that advice is ‘I don’t know what to do’ so today, I’m gonna give you some ideas for dates with yourself.

  • Take yourself out for a meal; breakfast, lunch or dinner. Doesn’t matter. Just take yourself someplace that makes you happy.
  • Take yourself to a movie.
  • Visit a local cafe and have a coffee or tea & pastry.
  • Netflix & chill solo. *chuckle* Shower or even better, take a hot bath, get into some clean pjs that make you happy, pop some popcorn and watch that movie or binge a bit on that show you love.
  • Take a class; a cooking class, a painting class, a pole dance class *giggle*. Classes are great dates with a partner so they’ll be great solo dates as well.

Where are your favorite places to go on dates to? You can totally go most of those places solo.

So tell me, when & where was your last date with you?

A few ways dating myself changed my life

Well, it was actually an experiment. I read somewhere that it would be an empowering practice so I tried it.

When I say date, I mean it exactly how it sounds. This isn’t about simply spending time alone. I’m talking about deciding on something awesome to do, getting dressed and smelling good just like I would when I’m going out with my Hunny. In fact, I take exceptional care when I’m getting dressed to go on my dates and I smell amazing, too. This habit of getting all dolled up to go on dates with myself turned into getting all dolled up to go on dates with my Beloved and now, I take much more care when I’m getting dressed to do things as simple as running to the store quickly.

Some side-effects of dating myself:

  • increased confidence
  • impromptu ideas for biz
  • meeting new people
  • improved self-esteem
  • better dates with others
  • more joy
  • more patience with my minis
  • more patience with life in general
  • happier weeks

Have you ever taken yourself on a date? Is this a regular practice for you? Let’s chat about it in the comments below?

Sundays with Source

I’ve always loved Sundays. They’re for quiet and family and especially food because … I love to eat. In the south, food is love. Families gather around on Sundays for dinner and conversation. It’s the glue that keeps families together. In my family, my grandmother was that glue and since she died we don’t get together as much. Since I miss that connection I decided to create my own traditions and rituals for connection.

Sundays are still about quiet and family and food … and the myriad other ways that I have cultivated for connecting with God. Below are 5 of my favorite ways to Connect.

  1. Take a walk in nature … without technology
  2. Cuddle with my Hunny or my minis
  3. Listen to music – whatever calls to me
  4. Host or attend a potluck
  5. Write – writing is cathartic for me

So, what are your favorite ways to Connect? Let me know in the comments below or better yet, join the conversation on Facebook!

I’m Celebrating International Women’s Day By Being Brave

This post is late. It’s usually done and ready for you by 4:44 am CST however … Life so as I was pondering what to share with you and how to tie it into International Women’s Day, ‘Brave’ by Sara Brailles came on my YouTube playlist. In that moment, I knew exactly what to share with you today.

For the past week, I have been practicing speaking my Truth. This is not something that I’m really good at doing even though I’m a masterful storyteller and I love to talk. When it comes to speaking my Truth with love and compassion, I have much left to practice. Generally, when my feelings are hurt, I withdraw. Anger also usually causes me to withdraw. Pain usually builds up in me before I say something to the person and then, it’s an explosion. The alternative is that I cut them off altogether and they have no idea what happened.

Last week, I put an end to this pattern by telling my friend of 13 years why I stopped speaking as openly and freely with her. It has been nearly 3 years since the hurt occurred and yet, I’m only now telling her what the hurt was and why it took place. Wow! Next up was to tell a guy I’d been seeing last fall, who was still around where I stood in terms of dating him again. There were more conversations and the more of them I had, the easier they were to have.

In the song, Sara says,

Innocence, your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

My silence wasn’t doing me any good. I woke up Thursday morning, angry and with a sore throat. When I started speaking my truth (and applying eucalyptus essential oil), the pain in my throat subsided. Speaking my Truth with love and compassion not only helped my heart feel lighter, it also helped my body feel better.

So, in honor of International Women’s Day, I invite you to be brave and speak your Truth with love and compassion to everyone who is overdue for a conversation with you. If you would like some support in having that conversation, don’t hesitate to reach out to me for some strategizing and coaching.

Now, enjoy the song

Happy Women’s History Month

March is National Women’s History month. This month,, we celebrate the women who have gone before us and paved the way so that we are able to have the freedoms and privileges that we currently enjoy. Over the course of the month, I will be highlighting some of my sheroes and why they make my heart go pitter patter. Today though, I want to talk about one. very. special woman. Today, we’re going to talk about you.

Everything that has happened in your life has happened to lead to you becoming the magnificent masterpiece that you are. Pain has made you stronger. Loss has made you more resilient. Love has made you lighter. Living has made you wiser. The children have made you more creative. *chuckle* Working has taught you cooperation, consistency and patience.

So, when was the last time you celebrated your history? I invite you to do that now. Light some candles, brew a mug of tea or pour a glass of wine, sit with your journal and chronicle your personal history. Write down every thing that has ever impacted you and how that experience has made you into the woman that you are now. Celebrate your history!

What’s magnificent about you that you’d forgotten until now? Tell us in the comments below.

#100daysofVibeMagic

So last week the amazing Melina Bliss (Your Vibe Goddess) asked me to take an adventure with her called #100daysofVibeMagic. I agreed. I had no idea what I was really agreeing to but it sounded like fun. Her idea was to spend more time immersed in the magic that she is and sharing it with all of the world across social media platforms to deepen her connection with her Source while showcasing her gifts and talents. My idea was to figure it out as I go. Deliciousness is unfolding.

So far, the first 7 days has me on the lookout for what #lightsmeup. This is imperative because 15+ years of depression had killed all sense of enjoyment and fun. What. is fun? Well, I’m learning. My body’s reminding me that she likes to move. Part of my #100daysofVibeMagic is to make sure I move everyday. Yesterday I took a walk because it was gorgeous outside. Most days had been yoga in bed because I’ve been forgetting to move, finding myself in bed and needing something to share with everyone. *chuckle*

This adventure is creating lots of goodness for both of us. Melina is seeing an increase in her clients, her energy and opportunities. I’m noticing greater joy, more visibility and increased energy. We would LOVE for you to join us. You can find:

Me on FB at www.facebook.com/LifeWithLila

Me on IG at www.instagram.com/lilaslight

Melina on FB at www.facebook.com/YourVibeGoddess

Melina on IG at www.instagram.com/yourvibegoddess

Why You’re Already Badass

One of my favorite people, Makenna Johnston said once “I didn’t become a “badass” because I became a coach. I became a coach because I was already a badass.” This resonated with me as if someone had rang a gong inside my heart. A thriving business won’t make me a badass. I’m already badass! & so are you, my Love.

No matter how old you are, I’m quite certain that you’ve accomplished something in this lifetime so far. One person’s mediocre is another person’s amazing. Don’t judge your accomplishments beside another’s. Judge them against who you were yesterday.

Even then, I invite you not to judge so much as assess. When I look over my life, I realize that I am quite badass. I’m a badass healing artist, a miracle-making super mom, a martyr worthy caretaker, an amazing lover & partner, a really supportive friend, a very innovative mind and the list can go on. When you get clear about who you are, what do you notice about yourself? In what ways are you badass?

Coming up with crickets? Try this exercise. Turn off the ringer and all tech for 15 minutes. Sit with pen & paper and write down every. single. accomplishment of your life thus far. Nothing is to small. Did you learn how to walk? Talk? Read? Write? Ride a bike? Tie a shoe? All of these things count to prime your pump. Once you get going, you’ll find more accomplishments. If you have more when the timer ends, by all means keep going. Write down everything that comes to mind. You WILL find your inner badass in there. When you do, bring that to everything you do.

Make Miracles with Internal Feng Shui

Internal Feng Shui is the practice of cleansing and balancing your energetic body. Miracles can’t come to you when your energy is full of blockages. Cleansing and balancing your energy systems helps you facilitate the flow of miracles with ease.

There are more methods for Internal Feng Shui than I can possibly put in this post but I am going to give you a few weekly practices to keep your energy right for miracle-making.

  • Take a salt bath – use sea salt, epsom salt or table salt. You can also combine all 3 types of salts for more powerful results.
  • Smudge your body and your space – take a bundle of dried sage (a smudge stick) and pass it over your body to cleanse your body of negative energies and then walk around your house and waft the smoke into every corner to purify the energy of your home as well
  • Spend time in silence. Some call this meditation. I call it silence. You can go for a walk and leave your phone at home. You can turn everything off in the car for your commute. Whatever you choose, spend 20+ minutes in silence. This is an Internal Feng Shui practice that can be done daily and it will greatly enhance your miracle-making.

If you’re not into DIY energy clearings, you can schedule a session with me. It would be my absolute pleasure to work with you to clear out blockages in your energetic system so you can feel amazing again and let those miracles in.

Practice Forgiveness for Miracle-Making

There are many paths to healing and I believe forgiveness is the most direct path. Forgiveness is simple, highly effective and can be practiced anywhere any time. For the purpose of Miracle-Making, I recommend you practice forgiveness before bed. Think of it as an energy shower at the end of your day.

This energy shower is important because all throughout the day, you create separation and resistance. You get frustrated with your children, your boss, your coworkers, your clients, your beloved, your self, traffic, the clerk at the grocery store and the list goes on. When you get frustrated, you create separation and resistance, pushing your miracle further away from you. When you practice forgiveness, you’re dropping the resistance, bringing your miracle back to you.

For a quick meditation at the end of your day, sit quietly, take a deep breath, close your eyes and ask, ‘Where did I allow separation & resistance today?’ When you get your answer, offer forgiveness to those people and those situations until you feel a sense of peace. Seal your practice with these words, ‘I forgive this day. It is over and I give thanks for each blessing it held.’

Practice Extreme Gratitude

We’ve all heard of the power of gratitude. So, what’s this extreme gratitude of which I speak? Well, it is the power to change your world, that’s what. How can I make such claims? It changed my world, that’s how. When I started this practice, I had 6 weeks to find a new space to live. As an adult person in a developed nation, this doesn’t seem a difficult feat, right? Wrong! I was depressed, which makes everything a difficult feat. Add to the depression single motherhood of not one but THREE minis, underemployment (I had a very underpaying freelance gig because I was too depressed to do more) and a lack of transportation and I felt pretty stuck. Within 3 weeks of starting my extreme gratitude practice, my entire living situation was resolved and what’s better, the solution came to me.

Most gratitude practices focus on the warm, fuzzy feelings or the heart swelling feelings. Extreme gratitude wants you to focus on the things that are broken in your life, the things that get on your nerves and the things that piss you off or leave you feeling heartbroken. Why? Because these are the things you desire to change and change will come through this powerful practice. The key is that you do not have to feel gratitude for the things. You simply need to write them down.

Here’s how extreme gratitude works: Everyday, within 30 minutes of rising, make a list of 5-10 things that are upsetting in your life. Your list should look like this:

Today, I give thanks:

  1. for oversleeping
  2. for my children not cooperating with me
  3.  that I forgot to follow up with that promising client yesterday
  4. that I didn’t get the new job
  5. that I don’t know how I’m going to pay the rent

Remember, you don’t have to feel grateful for these things. You simply create your list daily and forget about it. What you will find is that feelings (frustration, anger, resentment) and situations (whatever’s not working) will miraculously find resolution.

If you would like a deeper explanation of this practice, pick up a copy of ‘Make Miracles In 40 Days‘ by Melody Beattie. This book is life-changing and it arrived in my life at the perfect time.

For added miracle power, be sure to practice forgiveness.