“If I don’t know how to help you, I usually know someone who does.”
This is something that I found myself saying a lot when I was younger. Why it never occurred to me, until recently, to turn that logic on myself is beyond me. Actually, I was just given the answer to that question as well, ‘When the student is ready, the teacher appears.’ I wasn’t ready to unleash my genius on myself yet. I wasn’t ready to embody my Empress. I wasn’t ready to live a kick-ass life and when I was, I began to do just that; I turned that wisdom around on myself. 😉
I am stupid resourceful, as someone I know put it recently. There is nothing that I want to know that I cannot figure out especially with an internet connection. So, why was I not being stupid resourceful when it came to getting what I want and living a kick-ass life? Simply put, belief. I didn’t believe that I could have the things that I said I wanted. The tape in my head sounded something like this, “I can’t. I don’t know how. I don’t have the support. I don’t have the resources.” None of this is true and when I realized it, I was shocked by how I’d been duped by my own brain. Lol!
I began to dig around in my healing tool kit and found some tools to play with. I utilized afformations (Noah St. John), afformactions (something that I created by pairing afformations with movement), music and scripting. I literally wrote a new story for how I wanted to show up in the world. Soon, the neuropathways began to restructure and I began to think things like, “I can figure that out. There’s still time. I’ll ask for support.”
This change has made my life super delicious. I’m still at a point where I don’t hit all of my targets. The peace of mind that I have now though, is invaluable. I’d rather not quite hit my targets and feel peace than not try and feel angst and misery.