My Pleasure Threshold

This blog post is part of the 10-Day Blogging Challenge hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of  

This particular topic is perfect for me to write about right now as I just discovered my own personal Pleasure Threshold. We all seem to have a certain amount of pleasure that we can tolerate. Where we plateau in our ability to accept pleasure is our Pleasure Threshold. Over this past weekend, I discovered that my pleasure threshold was actually hovering right around survival.  

At some point, when I was 9 years old, I decided that I would stop wanting things. No longer would I have any desires because having desires was useless and painful and I felt stupid asking for something as simple as time and attention from a parent and being denied no matter how much I cried and begged. If I didn’t want anything, I wouldn’t be hurt or feel stupid. So, survival was the most pleasure I would allow myself.  

Recently, I found myself wanting something more than I had wanted anything since I was 9 years old. I’d been practicing desiring things for a few months and the disappointments barely registered on my radar. This one thing, though. When it didn’t materialize, I had an entire, sobbing in the shower, meltdown. That’s when I discovered my pleasure threshold. Right there in the shower, I realized that I hadn’t wanted anything this much in 22 years.  

The way to raise my pleasure threshold is to practice experiencing pleasure. So, I’m going nuclear with the love-bombs ( I’m setting intentions to magnetize all sorts of deliciousness. I’m going to desire deeply. This takes courage. A 22 year pattern isn’t going to rewrite itself over night. Already I’m fidning myself looking at things differently and thinking differently, however.  

Want to raise your pleasure threshold with me? I’m offering a Sacred Selfishness course where we will do just that. Email with Sacred Selfishness in the subject line for more information on how you can play with us. 😉  

Empress Lila   

Your Empress Essence

This blog post is part of the 10-Day Blogging Challenge hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of

Each Empress is unique in her reign based upon her essence. You have desires and preferences that are special and distinctive. There isn’t anyone else who shows up in the world in the exact way that you do. These unique to you qualities make up your essence. How you practice these qualities constitutes your reign.  

The fastest way to connect with your Empress Essence is to spend time with yourself. Interview yourself the way you would if you were sitting in front of your shero. Ask yourself every little minute thing about yourself that you can think of. What’s your favorite color? What’s your favorite food? What makes your soul soar? What makes you see red? What soothes and comforts you? Be an investigative reporter into every aspect of you. What you discover is your Empress Essence. This Essence is your throne, the seat of your power.  

For support in your investigative endeavors, shoot an email to with Sovereign Soul Session in the subject line and we will connect.  

Empress Lila

Love Bombs

This blog post is part of the 10-Day Blogging Challenge hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of  

Today’s topic is Love Bombs and I was instantly reminded of Danielle LaPorte’s Truth Bombs. I adore Danielle. I was inspired to encourage you to bomb your life with Radical Self-Love. Get to know yourself and what makes your soul soar. Then, give those things to yourself with wild abandon. Become sacredly selfish. Treat yourself the way you want the man of your dreams to treat you. Lavish yourself with attention. Spend time doing the things that you love to do. Shower yourself with gifts, if that’s your thing. My thing is quality time and physical touch. I am now committed to spending time with myself, doing things that I adore or simply doing nothing at all. How do I fulfill that physical touch aspect of the equation for myself? I find it a bit odd, but I wrap myself up in lots of blankets. Though I’m not being touched, I am being soothed & comforted by the feeling of the weight of the blankets. I do this consciously and intentionally as a way of loving myself. Take lavish showers. Buy yourself the best shower gels and take candlelit showers. No matter how big of a rush I’m in, I light a candle and use luxurious oil (like coconut or grape seed oil) on my skin after the shower. I feel decadent and delicious afterwards.  

You get the picture, right? The point is to bomb your life with deliciousness until your cup runneth over. From this space, the entire world will be at your beck and call. You will have the reigns of your Life and you can steer your life in whatever direction you desire. Want support in getting to this space? Let’s connect. Email to schedule an Insight Session.

Empress Lila

Use Your Tools

“If I don’t know how to help you, I usually know someone who does.”

This is something that I found myself saying a lot when I was younger. Why it never occurred to me, until recently, to turn that logic on myself is beyond me. Actually, I was just given the answer to that question as well, ‘When the student is ready, the teacher appears.’ I wasn’t ready to unleash my genius on myself yet. I wasn’t ready to embody my Empress. I wasn’t ready to live a kick-ass life and when I was, I began to do just that; I turned that wisdom around on myself. 😉

I am stupid resourceful, as someone I know put it recently. There is nothing that I want to know that I cannot figure out especially with an internet connection. So, why was I not being stupid resourceful when it came to getting what I want and living a kick-ass life? Simply put, belief. I didn’t believe that I could have the things that I said I wanted. The tape in my head sounded something like this, “I can’t. I don’t know how. I don’t have the support. I don’t have the resources.” None of this is true and when I realized it, I was shocked by how I’d been duped by my own brain. Lol!

I began to dig around in my healing tool kit and found some tools to play with. I utilized afformations (Noah St. John), afformactions (something that I created by pairing afformations with movement), music and scripting. I literally wrote a new story for how I wanted to show up in the world. Soon, the neuropathways began to restructure and I began to think things like, “I can figure that out. There’s still time. I’ll ask for support.”

This change has made my life super delicious. I’m still at a point where I don’t hit all of my targets. The peace of mind that I have now though, is invaluable. I’d rather not quite hit my targets and feel peace than not try and feel angst and misery.

Wanna play in my healing toolkit and see what I have to support you in embodying your inner Empress? Shoot me an email ( or find me on FB at




How to Reign

I must confess. This title is a bit misleading. The truth is that I can’t tell you how to reign because every Empress’ reign is unique. How you live your life will be entirely different from how I choose to live my life, which is entirely different from how my best friend lives her life, which is also different from how my neighbor lives her life and … you get the picture. There are some basic steps on how to reign in your domain with divine hands.

Initiation is the first step. You must acquaint yourself with your Inner Empress. There’s a luminous place of power at the core of your being. This is your Inner Empress. You must become intimate with Her. To get to this place, you cannot have unhealed wounds or unmet needs. The fastest path to initiation is to practice Sacred Selfishness. Sacred Selfishness is the practice of what my friend Coach Linda Yerba calls Radical Self Care. It is unapologetically ensuring that your own needs are met, that your cup is more than full, it is overflowing.

Once you’re intimately acquainted with your Inner Empress, the next step is to Awaken Her. You, Empress, have super powers. Those powers are dormant, awaiting your attention. When you have a deep understanding of your needs, are committed to having them met not-matter-what and are healing past hurts, those powers will begin to surface. You will understand how to get the things that you want in your life with ease & grace. You become a Universe Hacker, attaining desires and creating miracles out of thin air.

Now that you’ve Awaken that power, it’s time to embody it and utilize this embodiment to live your life on your terms. This is the phase of your experience where you no longer have deep pain, your needs are met so you have energy to give to others and you realize and honor your value in the world. Now, it’s time to live out your wildest dreams. Spend some time alone courting those dreams. The more intimate you are with your desires, the faster they will manifest. Enjoy living in a space of sovereignty.

Now that you know how to Reign, go forth and rule, Empress. If you would like some support with any of the above mentioned phases, shoot me an email at I would LOVE to support you.

oxo! Empress Lila

Get Sovereign

As we discussed in the last post, being Empress of your life means that you’re sovereign (sov·er·eign also sov·ran). So, it’s time for you to get sovereign. It’s time for you to take a stand for the desires that are churning in your soul and live the life that you were created to live.

If you’re anything like me, you’re asking how. I don’t have a fool-proof answer to that question. I have some guidelines that worked for me.

The most important step in getting sovereign is getting Connected. Connect with your Creator, whoever that is for you. I call my Creator God because I was raised Baptist, then I spent some time studying with the Pentecostal church. The terminology is familiar for me and that’s all that matters really. So, whatever you call your creator, the first step in being sovereign is to Connect with your Creator. Spending time in quiet or meditating is my favorite (and I believe the most direct) way. Add some running water and some sunshine and I’m in Heaven. I once needed a job and spent 6 hours in the park by a waterfall journaling. When I left the park, I received a phone call from one of my employment placement agencies offering me a full time office position. I’d been submitting resumes full time for weeks to no avail. Once I got Connected, I got movement and answers. Don’t make it hard, though. I have also received Guidance while lying in bed and in the shower. Just make space for Guidance by allowing some quiet time into your life.

When you receive Guidance, and if you’re quiet, you will, the next step is to take action on said Guidance. Often, we want to know the whole entire plan from start to finish before we take action. This is where we give away our power. If you’ve received Guidance and you’re not acting on it, you’re essentially telling your little slice of Heaven that you don’t trust their Guidance. The Guidance will stop if it’s not utilized. So take action immediately. 

Now, get quiet, receive Guidance and take action. That’s how you get the reigns of your life.

If you would like some personal guidance on embodying your inner Empress, email with Reign in the subject line. We can assess where you are in your reign (your Life) and how you can get control. 


Empress Lila

You Are Empress

The Empress is the sovereign ruler of her domain. Cute and empowering, right? What does it really mean, though? Let’s break it down. You are the Empress. Sovereign means total and Divine. Your domain is your life and how you live it. In other words, as Empress, you are the total & Divine ruler of your life and how you live it.
If you’re feeling pushed around by Life, you are not in touch with your inner Empress. Perhaps, you’re doing what you think you should be doing or what society says you should be doing. Maybe you’re doing what your parents told you to do. It’s possible that you’re simply trying NOT to be your parents. Whatever the scenario, if you’re not feeling like you have Life by the reigns, you’re not living from the place of power that is in each and every one of us.
So, what do you do with that feeling? How do you stop being pushed around by Life? The very first step is to feel the feeling. If you’re anything like I was before I embodied my inner Empress, you’re reading every book that you can get your hands on, you’re taking every course imaginable, you’re talking to all of your friends and you’re seeking and implementing advice and resources. The one thing you’re not doing, however, is feeling what’s going on inside of you. I get that. I thought it was gonna be scary in there, so I wasn’t going in there. Then, I heard a character on one of my favorite TV shows (Hey, wisdom comes from diverse sources) say that she was afraid to feel the pain as if feeling the pain would kill her. That was a pivotal moment for me. I realized that I too had been avoiding pain as if it would kill me. I knew that I had to be willing to feel pain. The experiences that stemmed from that willingness were powerful. Those are for another post, however.
The next step in embodying your inner Empress is to ‘tell the truth and tell it quickly’ as my favorite Unity minister Edwene Gaines advises. What does this mean? Iyanla Vanzant said it best. She said, “State the facts and tell the truth.” Sometimes, the fact is that you’re in love with someone and the Truth is that he ain’t no good. Yeah, I said ain’t. You don’t always need to tell others your truth. Tell yourself the truth FIRST. If, after some prayer and meditation, you still feel the need to tell your truth to another, do so with grace and love.
Another critical part of the process of embodying your inner Empress is to have a healthy relationship with your Creator. I didn’t use a label here because this isn’t a religious conversation and it’s not important what you call your Creator. It IS important that you and your Creator have a healthy relationship; a way of communicating with each other that allows you to hear Guidance and you know your prayers are being heard. This is critical because to be Empress is to be sovereign and being sovereign means being connected with your Divinity.
When you’re ready to take charge of your life and live it by your terms, spend some time with yourself. Really get to know yourself. Develop an intimate relationship with your Higher power. Tell the Truth and tell it quickly and be willing to feel your feelings. These are the basic keys to embodying your inner Empress.
If you would like some personal guidance on embodying your inner Empress, email me: with “I’m Ready” in the subject line, and we can schedule a time to meet. Together, we will assess where you are in your reign (your Life) and how you can take control.
Empress Lila