Practice Extreme Gratitude

We’ve all heard of the power of gratitude. So, what’s this extreme gratitude of which I speak? Well, it is the power to change your world, that’s what. How can I make such claims? It changed my world, that’s how. When I started this practice, I had 6 weeks to find a new space to live. As an adult person in a developed nation, this doesn’t seem a difficult feat, right? Wrong! I was depressed, which makes everything a difficult feat. Add to the depression single motherhood of not one but THREE minis, underemployment (I had a very underpaying freelance gig because I was too depressed to do more) and a lack of transportation and I felt pretty stuck. Within 3 weeks of starting my extreme gratitude practice, my entire living situation was resolved and what’s better, the solution came to me.

Most gratitude practices focus on the warm, fuzzy feelings or the heart swelling feelings. Extreme gratitude wants you to focus on the things that are broken in your life, the things that get on your nerves and the things that piss you off or leave you feeling heartbroken. Why? Because these are the things you desire to change and change will come through this powerful practice. The key is that you do not have to feel gratitude for the things. You simply need to write them down.

Here’s how extreme gratitude works: Everyday, within 30 minutes of rising, make a list of 5-10 things that are upsetting in your life. Your list should look like this:

Today, I give thanks:

  1. for oversleeping
  2. for my children not cooperating with me
  3.  that I forgot to follow up with that promising client yesterday
  4. that I didn’t get the new job
  5. that I don’t know how I’m going to pay the rent

Remember, you don’t have to feel grateful for these things. You simply create your list daily and forget about it. What you will find is that feelings (frustration, anger, resentment) and situations (whatever’s not working) will miraculously find resolution.

If you would like a deeper explanation of this practice, pick up a copy of ‘Make Miracles In 40 Days‘ by Melody Beattie. This book is life-changing and it arrived in my life at the perfect time.

For added miracle power, be sure to practice forgiveness.

Who’s On Your Throne?

Who’s in charge of your life? Being the fabulous Empress that you are, I’m willing to bet that your answer is a loud brash, “I am!” But are you? Are you unapologetically living a life that you love the socks off of and magnetizing and manifesting miracles galore?
Or are things going wrong left & right? Are your plans not panning out? Are you having accident after catastrophe after misadventure? Maybe you’re experience success that is filled with pushing and struggling. This isn’t being sovereign either. Your life is your domain and how you live it is your reign. If your reign doesn’t feel elegant and full of ease, you are not on your throne.
So, if you’re not on your throne, who is? When people and events dictate your feelings and actions, they are actually in charge of your life (domain) and how you live it (reign). Is your j.o.b. sucking the life out of you? Then, your j.o.b. is on your throne. Are you in a relationship that isn’t serving you? Then your partner is (or more accurately your beliefs about relationships are) on your throne. Perhaps you’re living the life that your parents wanted you to live and not a life that thrills you to your toes. In this case, your parents are on your throne.
What are you giving power over your life to? Who or what is on your throne, Empress? Let’s talk about it in the comments below. Want to get back on your throne? Schedule a consult:

Empress Lila

Pain Cannot Reign

To reign means to have total control over your life and the way you live it through your connection to your Source (I call mine God. You may call yours whatever you like.). An Empress in pain cannot reign because she is often too focused on the pain to focus on her domain (her life and how she lives it). So, the first step in re-gaining the throne is to heal any pain that you’re experiencing. This pain doesn’t have to be physical and often, it is not. Physical pain is easy to manage. Unhealed childhood wounds, poor relationships and unsatisfactory livelihood … well, these pains are more distracting.

In order to heal, you must get clear on the root cause of your pain. You must heal this pain at the root in order to be rid of it. If you simply deal with the surface (like dumping that no good lover) you will find that the pain comes back (the next lover is just as no good) and often it’s worse.

Once you’ve identified and removed the root cause of the pain, you must then plant new thoughts, actions and beliefs that will magnetize to you the things that you do want in your life (your dream career flourishing like magic, perhaps). Repetition and a process that you’ll stick with is key. When you decide what you want, tell yourself that new story as if it is already your reality. There are many processes for doing this. We can work together to find the process that works for you if you’d like. Simply shoot an email to

Healing is that simple. Simple, not easy. Two steps: find the root cause of the pain and remove it. Then, plant the reality that you do want to experience. Well, a third step. Be patient with yourself while your new reality blooms. Pretend that your new, pain-free, reality is actually a rare and special seed that was planted and needs time to grow along with fresh air, sunlight and water. It’s not going to sprout out of the ground over night and neither is your new reality. Be patient, Empress.


My Resolutions, My Way


I don’t do resolutions. It’s been years since I set New Year’s Resolutions because I never stuck to them. Then, I treated myself badly because I couldn’t stick to them. This was no bueno. One year, I came across the idea of creating a theme for the year ahead. This really struck me as a delicious practice and I’ve been practicing it ever since.

THEN, I encountered Danielle LaPorte’s work with the Desire Map and this theme was transformed into something altogether new. How do I want to feeeeel this year? Well, EPIC! That’s my word for the year. & my theme, you ask? *grinning* My theme is ‘Do epic shit like it’s normal.’ It’s a tall order and I’m rather annoyed that I even agreed to this. Since I’ve learned to trust my Inner Empress, I am going with this theme and am on the lookout for opportunities to do epic shit.

So, what about you? If you created a theme for this year, what would it be?

No ideas? Well, start with spending some quiet time alone asking yourself that very question, “What is my theme for 2014?” Go with the first thing that comes into your mind/Spirit. Your Inner Empress knows your theme for this year and if you’re quiet enough, you can hear her tell you. Go to the comment section below and tell me what you came up with. Is it as crazy interesting as mine?

Empress Lila

Not Your Usual Family

s blog post is part of the 10-Day Blogging Challenge hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of

Today is the last day of the 10 Day Blogging Challenge and the topic is highly appropriate considering we’re little more than a week before Thanksgiving here in the US. I wonder if Anne did this on purpose.

I have a very unusual view of family and I believe this is a perfect conversation since being Empress means living your life, your way. I’m the only surviving child of a single mother. My mom and my grandparents raised me. After my grandmother died, my extended family decided to put their focus on themselves. We didn’t get together anymore, not even for holidays. Eventually, all communications between us ceased. I’m now estranged from my biological family.

So, how am I sovereign in this? I’m a Sagittarius and I LOVE to travel. I am also a cultivator of communities. Everywhere I go, I build family. The vast majority of my support system is on the East Coast. This is annoying when I require the kind of support that entails childcare. Emotional support, however is a done. freakin. deal. This yummy group of people has become my family. Now, I have sisters in New York, Maryland, Philly, Los Angeles, Memphis and more. This Empress defines family as a close knit group of people who are supportive of and loving with each other. I don’t share DNA with most of my family. How do you define family? Let me know in the comments below.

Empress Lila

Party with your Shadow Side

This blog post is part of the 10-Day Blogging Challenge hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of

Self-acceptance is the foundation of personal power. Power to live your life your way comes from a deep and profound understanding of and love for yourself. You were Created deliberately. There has never been another you. There will never be another you. Judging your likes, dislikes and preferences is a sin.

So, I invite you to develop a deep and profound love affair with yourself. Get to know yourself intimately. During your explorations, you will encounter your shadow. When you run into this aspect of yourself, ask yourself, “How can this aspect of myself support me?” In Debbie Ford’s movie ‘The Shadow Effect’, she tells a story of how she befriended her inner bitch. She said she was speaking to an audience and a woman in the back stood up and yelled, ‘You’re a bitch!” After she recovered, she thought to herself, ‘When is being a bitch a good thing?’ Put simply, when someone’s trying to take advantage of you, being a bitch is a VERY good thing. I recommend you befriend your inner bitch. Every Empress has one.

So, have a Shadow Party. Sit with pen & paper and have an exploration of your inner landscape. Find all of the aspects of yourself that you don’t love and determine how this aspect of you can be beneficial to you. Use them as the tools that they can be in living your life, your way. After your exploration, I’d love to hear what tools you’re now keeping in your back pocket. Leave a comment below.

Empress Lila

Eat Like an Empress

This blog post is part of the 10-Day Blogging Challenge hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of

Food is meant to be fuel & little more. I say little more because some foods, like mango, I believe were Created to be sheer pleasure. Lol! With that in mind, I want to encourage you to eat like an Empress. Give your body foods that fuel her. Give her foods that are pleasing to the palate and ensure that those foods are Real foods. I say give your body what she wants to eat, however, I understand that some of us are in a space where our bodies are craving foods that are not good for us. In these instances, I recommend you eating those foods until you’re sick of them. I also recommend you add in foods that you know are good for your body. What will happen is that, over time, your body will begin to crave foods that truly are fuel. Be easy a

Exploring Beauty

This blog post is part of the 10-Day Blogging Challenge hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of

Today’s blog prompt is beauty. As I found this topic on the list of prompts, I was transported to a conversation with a friend where I said to her, “I’m not pretty.” Before she could interject, I continued with, “I’m beautiful and I know it. I’m just not my idea of pretty.” Many find this a bizarre notion and it may be. To me, beauty is more than skin deep. It’s more than the physical form. Beauty is about the essence of a person/thing. Pretty is commercial and man-made. Beauty is God-made an inherent. I find lots of beauty on the planet. Interestingly enough, as I flip through the catalogue of images in my brain now, I cannot find one example of pretty. I’ve changed so much this year. When we had that conversation nearly a year ago, I had oodles of examples of pretty women.  

I invite you, Empress, to define beauty for yourself as I have. After all, you are the Sovereign ruler of your Domain. You get to define beauty in your life along with everything else. How do you define beauty? How do you define pretty? Are they one & the same for you? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.  

Empress Lila

The Empress is Limitless

This blog post is part of the 10-Day Blogging Challenge hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of

In your power, you Empress, are limitless. How does that feel in your Spirit? If you didn’t feel an absolute, ‘Yes!’ I recommend you spend sometime time with your inner Empress. Clearly, you’re not intimate with that aspect of yourself and your inner Empress is the key to your unlimited power to Reign in your Domain (your life).  

How do you become intimate with your inner Empress? Well, because each Empress is unique in her process, I’m going to give you some processes that work for me and some of the women I’ve worked with:
~Silence – I say silence as opposed to meditation because meditation seems to conjure up images of sitting lotus style for hours. Who has time for that outside an ashram? I recommend you inject silence into your day. Turn off the radio during your commute, keep the TV off for 5 extra minutes, etc.
~Journailing – “Writing is cathartic,” to quote Tyler Perry. I find this to be true. I have written in a journal since age 12 and it’s a sanity saving experience for me.
~Grounding – Literally put your bare feet on the Earth. This is a chakra healing experience. My personal experience with this practice is that I found myself more able to stand in my truth and honor myself and my desires. This practice also helped me end a destructive relationship pattern that kept me in a loop of attracting men who didn’t value me. Talk about limiting.  

Give these processes a try on a consistent basis for 45 days and see what happens in your experience. Want to dive deeper? Come on over to and find more tips on embodying your inner Empress.  

Empress Lila

The Real World

This blog post is part of the 10-Day Blogging Challenge hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of  

I looked at this topic with blank face for a while. What can I possibly say about the real world? Well, there IS no real world. There is only the world as you perceive it. To this end, I invite you to craft a perception of your life that thrills you beyond measure. That’s what being an Empress is all about after all. You are Sovereign. You get to decide … what to wear, what to eat, where to live, what livelihood to engage in, what to drive, who to mingle with. Your life is yours to live on YOUR terms.  

I would LOVE to support you in crafting a vision for your life that makes your heart soar and then, living that vision out loud. Email and we’ll get started.
oxo! Empress Lila