A few ways dating myself changed my life

Well, it was actually an experiment. I read somewhere that it would be an empowering practice so I tried it.

When I say date, I mean it exactly how it sounds. This isn’t about simply spending time alone. I’m talking about deciding on something awesome to do, getting dressed and smelling good just like I would when I’m going out with my Hunny. In fact, I take exceptional care when I’m getting dressed to go on my dates and I smell amazing, too. This habit of getting all dolled up to go on dates with myself turned into getting all dolled up to go on dates with my Beloved and now, I take much more care when I’m getting dressed to do things as simple as running to the store quickly.

Some side-effects of dating myself:

  • increased confidence
  • impromptu ideas for biz
  • meeting new people
  • improved self-esteem
  • better dates with others
  • more joy
  • more patience with my minis
  • more patience with life in general
  • happier weeks

Have you ever taken yourself on a date? Is this a regular practice for you? Let’s chat about it in the comments below?

Sundays with Source

I’ve always loved Sundays. They’re for quiet and family and especially food because … I love to eat. In the south, food is love. Families gather around on Sundays for dinner and conversation. It’s the glue that keeps families together. In my family, my grandmother was that glue and since she died we don’t get together as much. Since I miss that connection I decided to create my own traditions and rituals for connection.

Sundays are still about quiet and family and food … and the myriad other ways that I have cultivated for connecting with God. Below are 5 of my favorite ways to Connect.

  1. Take a walk in nature … without technology
  2. Cuddle with my Hunny or my minis
  3. Listen to music – whatever calls to me
  4. Host or attend a potluck
  5. Write – writing is cathartic for me

So, what are your favorite ways to Connect? Let me know in the comments below or better yet, join the conversation on Facebook!


So last week the amazing Melina Bliss (Your Vibe Goddess) asked me to take an adventure with her called #100daysofVibeMagic. I agreed. I had no idea what I was really agreeing to but it sounded like fun. Her idea was to spend more time immersed in the magic that she is and sharing it with all of the world across social media platforms to deepen her connection with her Source while showcasing her gifts and talents. My idea was to figure it out as I go. Deliciousness is unfolding.

So far, the first 7 days has me on the lookout for what #lightsmeup. This is imperative because 15+ years of depression had killed all sense of enjoyment and fun. What. is fun? Well, I’m learning. My body’s reminding me that she likes to move. Part of my #100daysofVibeMagic is to make sure I move everyday. Yesterday I took a walk because it was gorgeous outside. Most days had been yoga in bed because I’ve been forgetting to move, finding myself in bed and needing something to share with everyone. *chuckle*

This adventure is creating lots of goodness for both of us. Melina is seeing an increase in her clients, her energy and opportunities. I’m noticing greater joy, more visibility and increased energy. We would LOVE for you to join us. You can find:

Me on FB at www.facebook.com/LifeWithLila

Me on IG at www.instagram.com/lilaslight

Melina on FB at www.facebook.com/YourVibeGoddess

Melina on IG at www.instagram.com/yourvibegoddess

Why You’re Already Badass

One of my favorite people, Makenna Johnston said once “I didn’t become a “badass” because I became a coach. I became a coach because I was already a badass.” This resonated with me as if someone had rang a gong inside my heart. A thriving business won’t make me a badass. I’m already badass! & so are you, my Love.

No matter how old you are, I’m quite certain that you’ve accomplished something in this lifetime so far. One person’s mediocre is another person’s amazing. Don’t judge your accomplishments beside another’s. Judge them against who you were yesterday.

Even then, I invite you not to judge so much as assess. When I look over my life, I realize that I am quite badass. I’m a badass healing artist, a miracle-making super mom, a martyr worthy caretaker, an amazing lover & partner, a really supportive friend, a very innovative mind and the list can go on. When you get clear about who you are, what do you notice about yourself? In what ways are you badass?

Coming up with crickets? Try this exercise. Turn off the ringer and all tech for 15 minutes. Sit with pen & paper and write down every. single. accomplishment of your life thus far. Nothing is to small. Did you learn how to walk? Talk? Read? Write? Ride a bike? Tie a shoe? All of these things count to prime your pump. Once you get going, you’ll find more accomplishments. If you have more when the timer ends, by all means keep going. Write down everything that comes to mind. You WILL find your inner badass in there. When you do, bring that to everything you do.

Who’s On Your Throne?

Who’s in charge of your life? Being the fabulous Empress that you are, I’m willing to bet that your answer is a loud brash, “I am!” But are you? Are you unapologetically living a life that you love the socks off of and magnetizing and manifesting miracles galore?
Or are things going wrong left & right? Are your plans not panning out? Are you having accident after catastrophe after misadventure? Maybe you’re experience success that is filled with pushing and struggling. This isn’t being sovereign either. Your life is your domain and how you live it is your reign. If your reign doesn’t feel elegant and full of ease, you are not on your throne.
So, if you’re not on your throne, who is? When people and events dictate your feelings and actions, they are actually in charge of your life (domain) and how you live it (reign). Is your j.o.b. sucking the life out of you? Then, your j.o.b. is on your throne. Are you in a relationship that isn’t serving you? Then your partner is (or more accurately your beliefs about relationships are) on your throne. Perhaps you’re living the life that your parents wanted you to live and not a life that thrills you to your toes. In this case, your parents are on your throne.
What are you giving power over your life to? Who or what is on your throne, Empress? Let’s talk about it in the comments below. Want to get back on your throne? Schedule a consult: lila@lilasimmons.com

Empress Lila

Pain Cannot Reign

To reign means to have total control over your life and the way you live it through your connection to your Source (I call mine God. You may call yours whatever you like.). An Empress in pain cannot reign because she is often too focused on the pain to focus on her domain (her life and how she lives it). So, the first step in re-gaining the throne is to heal any pain that you’re experiencing. This pain doesn’t have to be physical and often, it is not. Physical pain is easy to manage. Unhealed childhood wounds, poor relationships and unsatisfactory livelihood … well, these pains are more distracting.

In order to heal, you must get clear on the root cause of your pain. You must heal this pain at the root in order to be rid of it. If you simply deal with the surface (like dumping that no good lover) you will find that the pain comes back (the next lover is just as no good) and often it’s worse.

Once you’ve identified and removed the root cause of the pain, you must then plant new thoughts, actions and beliefs that will magnetize to you the things that you do want in your life (your dream career flourishing like magic, perhaps). Repetition and a process that you’ll stick with is key. When you decide what you want, tell yourself that new story as if it is already your reality. There are many processes for doing this. We can work together to find the process that works for you if you’d like. Simply shoot an email to lila@lilasimmons.com.

Healing is that simple. Simple, not easy. Two steps: find the root cause of the pain and remove it. Then, plant the reality that you do want to experience. Well, a third step. Be patient with yourself while your new reality blooms. Pretend that your new, pain-free, reality is actually a rare and special seed that was planted and needs time to grow along with fresh air, sunlight and water. It’s not going to sprout out of the ground over night and neither is your new reality. Be patient, Empress.


My Resolutions, My Way


I don’t do resolutions. It’s been years since I set New Year’s Resolutions because I never stuck to them. Then, I treated myself badly because I couldn’t stick to them. This was no bueno. One year, I came across the idea of creating a theme for the year ahead. This really struck me as a delicious practice and I’ve been practicing it ever since.

THEN, I encountered Danielle LaPorte’s work with the Desire Map and this theme was transformed into something altogether new. How do I want to feeeeel this year? Well, EPIC! That’s my word for the year. & my theme, you ask? *grinning* My theme is ‘Do epic shit like it’s normal.’ It’s a tall order and I’m rather annoyed that I even agreed to this. Since I’ve learned to trust my Inner Empress, I am going with this theme and am on the lookout for opportunities to do epic shit.

So, what about you? If you created a theme for this year, what would it be?

No ideas? Well, start with spending some quiet time alone asking yourself that very question, “What is my theme for 2014?” Go with the first thing that comes into your mind/Spirit. Your Inner Empress knows your theme for this year and if you’re quiet enough, you can hear her tell you. Go to the comment section below and tell me what you came up with. Is it as crazy interesting as mine?

Empress Lila

Not Your Usual Family

s blog post is part of the 10-Day Blogging Challenge hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of www.annesophie.us.

Today is the last day of the 10 Day Blogging Challenge and the topic is highly appropriate considering we’re little more than a week before Thanksgiving here in the US. I wonder if Anne did this on purpose.

I have a very unusual view of family and I believe this is a perfect conversation since being Empress means living your life, your way. I’m the only surviving child of a single mother. My mom and my grandparents raised me. After my grandmother died, my extended family decided to put their focus on themselves. We didn’t get together anymore, not even for holidays. Eventually, all communications between us ceased. I’m now estranged from my biological family.

So, how am I sovereign in this? I’m a Sagittarius and I LOVE to travel. I am also a cultivator of communities. Everywhere I go, I build family. The vast majority of my support system is on the East Coast. This is annoying when I require the kind of support that entails childcare. Emotional support, however is a done. freakin. deal. This yummy group of people has become my family. Now, I have sisters in New York, Maryland, Philly, Los Angeles, Memphis and more. This Empress defines family as a close knit group of people who are supportive of and loving with each other. I don’t share DNA with most of my family. How do you define family? Let me know in the comments below.

Empress Lila

Party with your Shadow Side

This blog post is part of the 10-Day Blogging Challenge hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of www.annesophie.us.

Self-acceptance is the foundation of personal power. Power to live your life your way comes from a deep and profound understanding of and love for yourself. You were Created deliberately. There has never been another you. There will never be another you. Judging your likes, dislikes and preferences is a sin.

So, I invite you to develop a deep and profound love affair with yourself. Get to know yourself intimately. During your explorations, you will encounter your shadow. When you run into this aspect of yourself, ask yourself, “How can this aspect of myself support me?” In Debbie Ford’s movie ‘The Shadow Effect’, she tells a story of how she befriended her inner bitch. She said she was speaking to an audience and a woman in the back stood up and yelled, ‘You’re a bitch!” After she recovered, she thought to herself, ‘When is being a bitch a good thing?’ Put simply, when someone’s trying to take advantage of you, being a bitch is a VERY good thing. I recommend you befriend your inner bitch. Every Empress has one.

So, have a Shadow Party. Sit with pen & paper and have an exploration of your inner landscape. Find all of the aspects of yourself that you don’t love and determine how this aspect of you can be beneficial to you. Use them as the tools that they can be in living your life, your way. After your exploration, I’d love to hear what tools you’re now keeping in your back pocket. Leave a comment below.

Empress Lila

Eat Like an Empress

This blog post is part of the 10-Day Blogging Challenge hosted by Anne-Sophie Reinhardt of www.annesophie.us.

Food is meant to be fuel & little more. I say little more because some foods, like mango, I believe were Created to be sheer pleasure. Lol! With that in mind, I want to encourage you to eat like an Empress. Give your body foods that fuel her. Give her foods that are pleasing to the palate and ensure that those foods are Real foods. I say give your body what she wants to eat, however, I understand that some of us are in a space where our bodies are craving foods that are not good for us. In these instances, I recommend you eating those foods until you’re sick of them. I also recommend you add in foods that you know are good for your body. What will happen is that, over time, your body will begin to crave foods that truly are fuel. Be easy a